a penguin of very little brain ([info]stephiepenguin) wrote,
@ 2008-06-11 22:05:00
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Entry tags:constructing me

and i am not a force to be reckoned with

empty shelves
first step in the new world order


I've been feeling a little bit lost lately. I handed in my final assignments for this semester three weeks back, and yes I still have German classes but that's dead easy, and I still have Chinese classes but that's just once a week, so.

I got the results back for those assessments, and I'll probably scrape by with HDs which is better than just missing out, but it means my CWA will drop a couple of points and really, it's my own fault for getting married in the middle of semester because I forgot I was still a student.

Studying and learning is this huge part of my life, but I forget that it's supposed to define me. I do two units at uni and I'm studying two languages but I'm not a student, I can't tick that box. I work full time but at two different jobs and I feel like I can't define myself as either of those, either.

The thing about definitions and labels is that they're often mutually exclusive, and so often problematic.

I don't like using labels, but I am guilty of them all the same. I hate being required to pick a title, I don't want to be 'Mrs' and I never liked being 'Miss' and sometimes I think about getting my PhD just so I can be 'Dr.' I shouldn't tick 'Asian' but I can't tick 'Caucasian' so I have to tick 'Other.' Sometimes people write my occupation as 'admin,' sometimes it's 'local government' and often it's just left blank.

I dislike being defined by other people's words, by other people's views of the world, though I know that I define others by my interactions with them. And it is in this way that I know that I am guilty of labeling people.

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[info]alias_sqbr
2008-06-11 02:48 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I must say I do like the fact I've never been a "Mrs".

I'm not one of those people who is ever entirely consumed by anything, and thus don't feel comfortable being defined as any one thing, especially compared to the people who are consumed by it ie mathematician, webcomic artist etc.
But I am quite happy to be a public servant, it's so wonderfully dull, I feel like a Yes Minister character :)

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 01:48 pm UTC (link)
But even if you were consumed by something, would you still want that to be your definition? It lends itself to so many assumptions.

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[info]alias_sqbr
2008-06-13 12:45 am UTC (link)
That is a very good point. Hmm. I guess I don't mind if it's just an adjective which is part of who I am (like "australian") but you're right, it still doesn't define me all by itself.

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[info]trs80 [typekey.com]
2008-06-11 03:37 pm UTC (link)
Isn't that what's Ms is for? Or is that too high-school teacher? I'm not a student at the moment, but I'm living the student lifestyle so I still call myself a student from time to time. I love calling myself a sysadmin, partly because of alt.sysadmin.recovery, but also because it's old-school and generalist. Even if I do generally follow it up with "- I keep the computers running at a small consulting company" when talking to people. The trend of making jobs "officers" annoys me - I saw someone put down Clerical Officer recently, what's wrong with just being a Clerk?

http://daveslandslideblog.blogspot.com/

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Is there a difference between 'clerk' and 'clerical officer'?

cheers for the link.

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[info]sainfoin_fields
2008-06-11 04:25 pm UTC (link)
Is Ms. not used in Australia?

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[info]vegetus
2008-06-11 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Not commonly, though it is usually listed as an option if you have to tick a title box. I know that as a teacher in school if you are introduced as Ms. then most kids will just call you Miss.

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[info]nixwilliams
2008-06-11 09:59 pm UTC (link)
yes it is, most of my female friends use it.

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(Anonymous)
2008-06-11 04:38 pm UTC (link)
It sounds like doing a PhD will fill your thirst for ticking both the student box and the Dr box. And maybe after you complete it you could get an academic position with a university, and be able to study forever!

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[info]anxiolytic
2008-06-11 05:23 pm UTC (link)
DON'T DO IT!

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[info]vegetus
2008-06-11 09:08 pm UTC (link)
I don't like Miss because it makes me feel like a 5 year old, but I don't like Ms because of the 1970s feminist overtones and let's face it I'm not going to be a Mrs anytime soon. I must say I do tend to use Ms if I have to tick a box though.

For race, I tick other as well, though I really wish they had the "mongrel" box- it would be so much easier!

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 01:52 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that's how I feel about Miss and Ms. I haven't been using 'Mrs' because that makes me feel odd, and every time we receive a piece of post addressed to 'Mr & Mrs' I get quite mad. I have chosen to marry and change my name, that doesn't make me an adjunct!

I would even be happy with 'biracial' or the ability to tick more than one square - anything other than these three or four options of inaccuracy.

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[info]vegetus
2008-06-12 10:22 pm UTC (link)
Out of curiosity why did you change your name? I ask because I was talking about this with a friend of mine yesterday (who is all in wuv with her new boy) and we are both staunch "we're keeping our name" people for different reasons (see below) and I'm always interested as to why people choose to change or not change.

When my friend migrated as a child her family changed their surname so they could leave the country they were migrating from safely, but when she was old enough she changed it to a combination of her mother and father's family names, as did her brother (she doesn't hyphen though due to not liking hyphens :P). She's also been academically published under this name and wants to keep this tie to her family and her professional life.

For me (aside form the fact my surname is kinda cool in regards to my political views) it has always struck me as a backwards sort of idea that a woman is now part of her husbands family (but not vice versa) and that it shows a loss of identity upon marriage. As much as I'm kinda of indifferent to what my actual name is (especially as it is common as muck) I don't like the idea of changing it just because I got hitched.

I am surprised by the number of rabid-feminist people that I know who have changed their names when they got married. Not that I think you are a rabid-feminist, but I am interested as to why you chose to do that.

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Chinese custom says that nobody changes their name! So my mum was a bit stroppy when I changed my name, even though she changed hers when she married my dad and migrated to Australia. Her argument is that she changed it from a Chinese name to 'an Australian one.'

I hate the assumption that the woman should change her name. A woman at work got married about a month earlier than Penguins, and her husband changed his name to take on hers, because her family has this longer history etc. I thought that was cool, but everyone else at work was really shocked, which was interesting.

I didn't mind who changed their name, but I wanted the two of us to have the same name. Like I said, my mum changed in, and there's no real history attached to my dad's family name, and after years of such a generic surname (and dumb jokes) I didn't mind changing. To be honest, if I'd had a cooler surname, I would have insisted that Davyd change to it, instead.

I very rarely in my life has thought of myself as Firstname Lastname. I generally think of myself and introduce myself as Firstname, even in business situations.

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[info]nixwilliams
2008-06-11 09:59 pm UTC (link)
sometimes I think about getting my PhD just so I can be 'Dr.'

*shifty eyes*

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 12:24 pm UTC (link)
I KNEW IT.

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[info]nixwilliams
2008-06-12 01:00 pm UTC (link)
:D it's totally reasonable!

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[info]Zanchey [typekey.com]
2008-06-12 04:25 am UTC (link)
Interestingly, I was thinking last night how uncomfortable the title "Dr" can make me. (Also, nurses only use it when they know you've fucked up so it's always slightly worrying.)

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[info]stephiepenguin
2008-06-12 12:25 pm UTC (link)
I can't decide if this is a plea for me to stop calling you 'dr,' or for me to call you it more often. I just don't know!

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[info]trs80 [typekey.com]
2008-06-12 02:21 pm UTC (link)
If he became a surgeon (which I think he's said is unlikely), you could call him Dr for the above reasons and have the bonus it's not technically correct.

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