Entry tags:

most people i know, on being chinese, photography, weddingness

some penguins had a party and all their friends came

We woke on Saturday morning to rain, a constant droning on the roof. I love it when it rains, but rainy days are days for cooking things for hours and staying indoors, not holding garden parties.

We ventured out to my old hairdresser, a hilarious woman named Fran who works out of Cutting Edge in Midland. There was some consultation as I produced the ornate things I wanted to slot into my hair, and some confusion as I kept complaining about height and body, which I inexplicably loathe in hair.

My hair piece was actually formed out of the middle piece of a traditional Malay headpiece. The pieces are usually worn on top of the head, facing forwards, to form sun rays emerging from the head. There was no way I was doing this, though, and I prefer wearing my hair with pieces through it, so I felt this was a nice compromise. The headpiece belongs to a Malaysian girl with whom I work.

We returned from hair related things to discover that the marquee looked amazing. The marquee was only completed at 0800, in the rain, and then Davyd, Bernard, Zanchey, Matt, Essie, Linda and Michael started setting the tables and putting things in place, and by the time we returned it looked fantastic, all the cranes scattered on the tables and the napkins folded beautifully.

I bought all of the hanging decorations on a recent trip to Melbourne, so if anyone happens to know of anyone who needs to use some Chinese wedding decorations, let me know. Also, the 120 pairs of chopsticks were found by rummaging through the drawers in my mother's kitchen, and in our kitchen. Chinese homes tend to have an excess of chopsticks, due to the tradition of purchasing an entire new set every Chinese New Year. As such, if anyone needs to borrow a whole lot of chopsticks, again, let me know.

At about 1300 Matt went on an emergency run to Bunnings to buy mats to put by marquee's entry, to stop people from sinking into the damp grass there. By the time he returned the rain had stopped, though, and the sun had come out, and that was awesome.

Amanda and SJ were amazing with my makeup. They threw me in a makeup chair at Myer in Perth, where the woman at the Clinique counter painted things on my face and we found perfect lips and eyes at Shishedo, both of which I've blogged about previously. I was not first to get my makeup done on the day - first was SJ's mum, who wanted her makeup to be done in time for her to watch kickoff of the derby.

My wedding dress was tailored for me by a bespoke tailor in Penang in 2005. It sounds ridiculous, especially given we didn't actually do anything else wedding related in the time between July 2005 and setting the date in December 2007, but three years later I still believe it was the best decision. I knew then that I would be wearing the qipao when we married, and at that point I was about to turn 23, and hadn't changed weight or shape in about six years. It is expensive to tailor qipao in Australia, and there was no way I was spending AUD$500+ for some sort of one wear only dress. A qipao is designed to be worn again, not worn once.

Two weeks before the wedding I tried the dress on, and the zipper broke. I had it repaired by Snip N Stitch clothing alterations, who were happy to do the repairs but told me I had to find the invisible zip on my own, as very long, bright red invisible zips were hard to come by around here. Fortunately the crazy wool store at Subi crossroads had some. Cost of repairs plus zip was $32.95.

The qipao fit fine, though you should note that they're made to fit snug, which made sitting a challenge. "I have to hike my skirt up," I complained to my mother, later. "That's how it works," she replied, like it was something I already knew but had obviously forgotten. It also made bending over a chore, so all night I made people pick things up for me. Essie reminded me, though, at least I was still able to go to the loo on my own, some wedding dresses require assistance when you sit to pee.

It is customary to wait one month after the birth of a baby before gift giving. This is a hold over from the days when babies would often die during their first few days, and pragmatically there is no point giving gifts to a baby who dies a few days later. The gifts are also gifts and wishes for the baby's future, usually represented by a whole lot of gold jewellery. It is this that I was wearing, the gold given to me after my first month, so that I was draped in the wishes of my family.

For the longest time I was determined not to hold a bouquet. At the last, I was convinced to hold something, so I agreed to a bouquet, but only if it could be styled similarly to the bouquets that Tom and Max's bridesmaids held a few years ago. The result, designed by Linda, was simply magnificent. It was understated yet bright and not all droopy like a teardrop, and I loved it.

As I peered out the window, waiting for the time to be right, and for all to be ready, I was delighted to discover that many people had turned up with hats and fascinators, and in Alex's case with a cane. Maelkann wore a bright orange suit, as promised, and my view from the window was all bright colours and big hats and I was so pleased.

I was reluctant to do a stately walk down the aisle, there's so much possession and propriety implicit in that. The compromise was that Davyd, Zanchey, Bernard, SJ and Susie would chat with people somewhere around the frontish area, whilst dad and I would meander over. I sank slowly into the ground as I walked, and my stocking slowly failed (I couldn't wear a garter belt as the qipao has no give for it, and the elastic on the stay-up failed).

The sun was in our eyes, because although we'd run through the day before, we'd ended up in the wrong position, so halfway through the ceremony we crept forward, out of the glare. At prodding from the celebrant, we included anecdotes and readings, how we met through Sailor Moon and then SJ read a bit from Now We Are Six, because everybody loves a Pooh quote.

Later, we took a giant group photo. Afterwards, we dismissed friends to play croquet and cricket (thanks to dr k and dave for the croquet set, and grahame for the cricket set), and half of Davyd's extended family took "and if you're family, you have to stick around for more photos" as an opportunity to nick off to the pub to watch the end of the derby. A number of friends ran off to the Junction for icecream, though many of them managed to get lost. In hindsight, we should have included directions to the Junction as part of the wedding pack, along with the map to the venue.


group photo, sans amanda and essie :o(

We meandered around the estate, taking photos as they occurred to us and pausing for champagne, and for me to unlock my ibook. I discarded the failing stockings before we headed to the marquee, where many of our friends were already well into the beer, and had almost demolished the Squire.

On a table to the side was a basket from Singapore, overflowing with ang pau and surrounded by envelopes. The Chinese custom shies away from registries and gifts, leaning more towards things that will fit in little red envelopes, that is, money and jewellery. This is considered more practical. "No one is writing their name!" my mother despaired, so now we have no idea who gave what. It is usual to take note of each red packet, the amount and who gave it, but I prefer it this way. Now, if someone chose not to give us anything, we will never know, and that is fine because gifts should be no obligation, anyway.

A Chinese wedding banquet is a lavish, extended affair, comprising eight to ten courses (not including dessert), each served individually to the middle of the table, for communal eating. It is sprawling, taking usually about two to three hours, and it is important to eat selectively at each course, or by meal's end you can find yourself bloated, and unable to sample the delicious dishes which round out the banquet. I have blogged about the catering we used in my foodie blog here, and about our delicious vegan and gluten-free (double chocolate and raspberry) wedding cupcakes here.

Although the catering was done by Lotus, and the cupcakes were constructed by Susie, Amanda, Sajee and Essie in a feat of awesome, and the fruit was prepared by my mother and an auntie, the serving and related was done by Linda and Michael, with assistance from two of the kids from archery and a colleague of Davyd's.

Linda and Michael went above and beyond, volunteering to come early Saturday morning to assist with setup, and staying late to help us clear away. All we'd wanted them to do was coordinate the food! Their help was amazing and we are so appreciative of their contribution to the Really Big Party. Linda also did all the flower related things, my beautiful tiny bouquet and the corsages and buttons.

There were a handful of speeches, limit of 120 seconds. SJ wrote hers onto a crane; we had to wait for her to unfold it. There was some music and some dancing, cheers to Meggie for using her contacts to get us the sound gear. I turned around at one point to discover that some people I occasionally call friends had loaded some very choice songs onto my ibook, cheers for that, guys. Whereby 'choice' should be prefaced by 'questionable.'

Linda, Michael, Zanchey and Bernard stayed with us until well past midnight, cleaning and clearing and putting away. Eventually, exhausted, we kicked everyone out though the job was unfinished, and waved Linda and Michael off, and we four tumbled into the car and Bernard drove us all home.

As Zanchey stumbled out of the car at 0130, he reached behind Davyd's head and withdrew a top hat. "Oh, what!" I exclaimed, that he had not worn it in photos, and he shut the door and we drove away.

Thank you so much to everyone who came, it was delightful and both Davyd and I had an excellent Party, and we hope that everyone else did, too.

Photos:

• Full set of photos taken by Amanda can be found here. There are about 600 of them, though, so I have posted a small selection of my favourites here


• Some can be found here by my frellie dortamur


• essie's picks of her own photos; full set can be found here


• essie's picks of amanda's photos


• these were photos taken by thanners


• Anil took some photos which you can find here


• Photos by Davyd's dad can be found here


• Photos by Alex here (everyone is pulling such dour faces, though!)

Please let me know if you have some that aren't linked here, and if you've taken some but haven't put them up please do that and let me know.


Financial analysis to follow when it all gets sorted out.